Witch of Blood: Be Kankri Vantas
by NovianWitchHunter
Summary: I am pretty sure most of you have heard of the Homestuck roleplay site called MSPARP. So I will be going as Kankri Vantas through this and you will get to read my weird conversations with other roleplayers. Wow, that summary suck. Sorry.
1. Mituna and Kankri

So I was at the library and went on MSPARP and felt like in the kankri mood, so i Roleplayed as him for the entire 5 hours I was there. I really don't know what to do with my life anymore, I feel like I just sold my soul to Hussie. These are going to my my Kankri roleplays and just for you to know, I usually roleplay as Karkat so expect : I do not steal the souls of my readers so I am not Andrew Hussie.

* * *

Kankri [KANKRI] joined chat. ~~ 1 ~~

Mituna [MITUNA] joined chat. ~~ 2 ~~

MITUNA: Y0 K4NNNN

KANKRI: Hell9 Mituna, and my name is Kankri, n9t Kan

MITUNA: W3LL Y34H 1 KN0W5 7H47 8U7 1 G4V3 Y0U 4 N1CKN4M3 4ND 1 L1K3 17 50 1'M G0NN4 U53 17

KANKRI: It s very triggering t9 just give pe9ple nicknames like that Mituna

MITUNA: 8U7 17'5 4 N1C3 7H1NG 8351D35 1 D0N'7 R34LLY G1V3 4 FUCK 1F Y0U G37 7R1GG3R3D 0R N07

KANKRI: Mituna! Language!

MITUNA: P5HFLL87 Y0U N33D 70 C4LM Y0UR 5H17

KANKRI: Mituna language like that can 6e very triggering 6ut, f9r n9w, I will let it slide

MITUNA: 1 D0N'7 G1V3 4 FUCK 1 D0N'7 1 D0N'7 G1V3 4 FUCK

MITUNA: H3H3H3H

KANKRI: St9p it!

MITUNA: 570P WH47

KANKRI: St9p swearing like that, it is really distasteful

MITUNA: 8U7 K4N

KANKRI: N9

MITUNA: Y35

KANKRI: N9

MITUNA: K4NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

KANKRI: N9 Mituna, and that's final

MITUNA: FUCK1NG L4M3 455 5H17 R1GH7 7H3R3!

MITUNA: C4N'7 FUCK1NG 73LL M3 WH47 70 D0 1'LL D0 WH473V3R 7H3 H3LL 1 W4N7!

KANKRI: D9 y9u want me t9 call Latula?

MITUNA: N0!

KANKRI: Then watch y9ur language

MITUNA: F1N3

KANKRI: G99d, y9u will s99n see that his is a p9sitive 9uttake f9r every69dy, including y9urself

MITUNA: WH47

MITUNA: WH47 15 17

MITUNA: D0 1 83C0M3 L1K3 Y0U C4U53 1 D0N'7 W4NN4

KANKRI: N9, 69t like me since y9u are y9ur 9wn pers9n, 6ut y9u 6ec9me a much m9re m9del tr9ll 9f s9ciety.

MITUNA: 8L3GHHHHHHH 1 D0N'7 W4NN4

MITUNA: 50UND5 80R1NG

KANKRI: It is n9t "69ring" at all

MITUNA: Y35

KANKRI: N9

MITUNA: Y35

KANKRI: N9

MITUNA: Y 3 5

KANKRI: Mituna, y9u are 9 sweeps f9r g9g's sake, please st9p acting s9 childish

MITUNA: 1 D0N'7 W4NN4

KANKRI: Mituna

MITUNA: K4N

KANKRI: ...

KANKRI: I'm calling latula

MITUNA: N0!

KANKRI: I'mm calling her

MITUNA: FUCK1NG FUCK Y0U F1F7Y 71M35 1N 7H3 455 W17H 7H1R733N 81G 455 8ULG35 8ULG35LU7!

KANKRI: MITUNA!

MITUNA: Y35?

KANKRI: I am n9w calling Kurl9z as well

MITUNA: UGHHHHHH! 1 H473 Y0U!

KANKRI: Mituna y9u d9 n9t mean that

MITUNA: Y35 1 D0

KANKRI: Y9u at least mean it Plat9nicly, right? 9r y9u have n9 idea what y9u are even saying at this p9int

MITUNA: 1 H473 Y0U C4U53 Y0U'R3 4N 455H0L3 4ND 1 D0N'7 L1K3 455H0L35

KANKRI: Then y9u must n9t like y9urself- 9h wait, I didn't mean t9 say that

MITUNA: H3Y! Y0U'R3 50 FUCK1NG P4551V3 4GR3551V3 17'5 R1CH! Y0U 54Y 5H17 480U7 P30PL3 N07 7R3471NG Y0U R1GH7 8U7 7H3N Y0U G0 4G41N 4ND 83 4 D0UCH384G 70 3V3RY0N3 Y0U KN0W! WHY D0 Y0U 7H1NK5 N0 0N3 L1K35 Y0U?

KANKRI: N9...y9u d9n't mean that

MITUNA: Y35 1 D0

KANKRI: N9 y9u d9n't. Y9u just d9n't understand

MITUNA: 0H FUCK 7H47! 1 UND3R574ND 7H1NG5!

KANKRI: N9 y9u d9 n9t

MITUNA: Y35 1 D0! WHY W0ULDN'7 1?

KANKRI: 6ecause y9u 6rain isn't the same as it use t9 6e!

MITUNA: 8U7 1 C4N UND3R574ND! 1 UND3R574ND M0R3 7H4N 3V3RY0N3 7H1NK5!

KANKRI: Miuna, y9u are just in denial

MITUNA: 1 4M N07!

KANKRI: Sure y9u aren't Mituna, sure y9u aren't

MITUNA: H3Y K4N

KANKRI: What?

MITUNA: 1'M N07 57UP1D, Y0U JU57 D0N'7 W4NN4 7H1NK 7H47 1 C4N 7H1NK

KANKRI: N9w that is n9t true

MITUNA: Y35 17 15

KANKRI: N9t it is n9t

MITUNA: Y35

KANKRI: N9

MITUNA: Y35!

KANKRI: That is n9t rue at all Mituna!

MITUNA: MHMMMMMMMMMM

KANKRI: What?

MITUNA: 17'5 FUCK1NG 7RU3 4ND Y0U KN0W 17

KANKRI: N9 Mituna I isn't y9u just d9n't kn9w the half 9f it

MITUNA: 7H3N WH47'5 7H3 H4LF 0F 17?

Mituna's connection timed out. Please don't quit straight away; they could be back.

Mituna [MITUNA] joined chat. ~~ 2 ~~

KANKRI: When y9u had y9u accident, we were all heart 6r9ken. When y9u came 9ut 9f y9ur c9ma t9 act like y9u d9 n9w was sad and teriying. 6ut me and latula knew that y9u w9uldn't want t9 6e reated differently, s9 we didn't. The way c9nus treats y9u kn9w is different then he treated y9u 6ack then 9r even damara 9r rufi9h. It was hard that time Mituna, it was hard and y9u really d9n't understand. It's n9t like I 6elieve that y9u cann9t think f9r y9urself, it's just that I want y9u t9 think h9w y9u use t9.

MITUNA: 1 D0N'7 KN0W H0W 1 U53D3D 70 4C7

KANKRI: I kn9w y9u d9n't

MITUNA: 1'M 50RRY

KANKRI: It is n9t y9u fault, its mine

MITUNA: 1 D0N'7 G37 17

KANKRI: If I, 9r any 9f us, had listened t9 y9ur warning at the time, y9u might n9t have used y9ur p9wers t9 the extent that fried y9ur 6rain

MITUNA: WHY D1DN'7 Y0U?

KANKRI: I d9n't remem6er. We were all y9ung and stupid. G9g, I'm s9rry Mituna

MITUNA: 1 D0N'7 L1K35 7H15

KANKRI: D9n't like what?

MITUNA: Y0U 831NG 50RRY 4ND M3 831NG WR0NG

KANKRI: I'm s9rry f9r triggering y9u then

MITUNA: UGHHHHHHHHH

KANKRI: I did n9t mean t9 trigger y9u Mituna

MITUNA: Y34H Y34H 0K4Y

KANKRI: Really, I did n9t mean t9. I'll try t9 refrain fr9m d9ing s9 in the future

MITUNA: 1 D0N'7 C4R35

KANKRI: I kn9w y9u d9n't

MITUNA: G00D

KANKRI: Still, I w9uld 6e g99d f9r y9u t9 care 9n triggering 9thers 9r at least tag y9ur riggers

MITUNA: N0

KANKRI: Y9u w9uld want t9 trigger s9me9ne w9uld y9u?

MITUNA: 1 D0N'7 C4R3

KANKRI: W9uld y9u want t9 rigger Latula 9r Kurl9z?

MITUNA: W3LL N0

KANKRI: Then y9u might want t9 6e careful 9f triggers ar9und them

MITUNA: F1N33333333333333333333333

KANKRI: G99d

MITUNA: 17'5 571LL L4M3 45 5H17

KANKRI: N9t lame Mituna and, 9nce again, language

MITUNA: Y35 L4M3!

KANKRI: It is called 6eing cauti9us

MITUNA: 4ND L44444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444M344444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444444

KANKRI: This is s9 childish 9f y9u

MITUNA: N0P3177Y

KANKRI: Yes

MITUNA: N0

KANKRI: Yes

MITUNA: N0

KANKRI: N9t this f99lish game again

MITUNA: Y355555555555

KANKRI: N9 mituna n9

MITUNA: Y35 K4NKR1 Y35

KANKRI: N9 mituna

MITUNA: Y35 K4NKR1

KANKRI: Mituna, y9u are acting s9 childish right n9w

* * *

And my connection went off here. Ugh, soooo many typpo's. Anyway Witch of Blood, out


	2. Porrim and Kankri

SO this was a little in between the first mituna one. Yeah, working two chats at once. It was annoying. And during this, there was this creepy boy that was talking to me and flirting with me. The asked if I liked girls when I said I never had a boyfriend before, Yeah...DISCLAIMER: You all know I don't own shit.

* * *

 **This is a script style, not safe for work chat.**

 **Porrim [PORRIM] joined chat. ~~ 1 ~~**

 **Kankri [KANKRI] joined chat. ~~ 2 ~~**

PORRIM: Hello+ dear..

KANKRI: Hell9 P9rrim

PORRIM: Ho+w are yo+u kankri

 **Porrim's connection timed out. Please don't quit straight away; they could be back.**

 **Porrim [PORRIM] joined chat. ~~ 1 ~~**

KANKRI: I am ...slightly triggered 6ut it is n9thing that I cann9t handle myself

PORRIM: Kankri what is wro+ng dear

KANKRI: N9thing that y9u sh9uld 69ther y9urself with P9rrim

PORRIM: Kankri vantas! Tell me no+w o+r so+ help me I will trigger yo+u my self

KANKRI: Fine Fine! It is Cr9nus...

PORRIM: I knew it, what has he do+ne this time

KANKRI: N9t s9mething he has d9ne pursay, it's just um...

KANKRI: I think I'm flushed f9r him

PORRIM: UM what kanny, it is no+t go+o+d to+ keep secrets fro+m yo+ur mo+ther

KANKRI: Y9u are n9t my m9ther P9rrim, we've 6een 9ver this

PORRIM: Do+nt be so+...kranki kankri, tell me what happened

KANKRI: D9 N9T CALL ME THAT!

PORRIM: Then do+ no+t act like it...

PORRIM: Kranki...

KANKRI: S9rry P9rrim, 6ut I am really n9t in the m99d f9r y9ur failed m9therly antics at this time

PORRIM: * she gro+wls and pulls his sweater slightly talking as lo+w as she co+uld darkly if anything * yo+u listen to+ me kankri vantas yo+u will NOT talk to+ yo+ur mo+ther like that, do+ I make my self clear

KANKRI: *he squeaks* Y-yes ma'am

PORRIM: * she gro+wls again and puts him do+wn smo+o+thing o+ut his sweater * go+o+d bo+y

KANKRI: *he whimpers as she sm99ths 9ut his sweater* ...

PORRIM: No+w tell me what has cro+nus do+ne to+ trigger yo+u

KANKRI: He's um 6een flirting with the 9thers m9re recently, even th9ugh I've t9ld him t9 st9p 6ut... he's never really d9ne it t9 me 6ef9re and I just cann9t help 6ut w9nder, why? Is there s9mething that they have that I d9n' 9r is it just me that he d9esn't like, and if s9 what is it that he d9esn't like? Am I n9t g99d en9ugh t9 even 6e flirted with? D9es he think that it's just a waste 9f time 9r s9mething? G9g, P9rrim, I'm s9 c9nfused!

PORRIM: Why first o+f all why wo+uld yo+u want so+meo+ne like him to+ flirt with yo+u hes no+t wo+rth anyo+nes time kankri yo+u are wo+nderful but yo+u deserve WAY much better than that lo+w life...do+ yo+u feel flushed fo+r him kanny?

KANKRI: I...i think s9. P9rrim, I think I l9ve him

PORRIM: Oh my go+g no+...no+ kanny o+h my go+g.

KANKRI: I-im s9rry! I just can't help feeling this way! I d9n't want t9 6ut...

PORRIM: Ok first why what do+ yo+u see in him

KANKRI: He's really kind and c9nsiderate when y9u get t9 kn9w him. He think a69ut /me/ and h9w /i/ feel when we're t9gether. He listens t9 me ram6le and w9n't interrupt, he even j9ins in the c9nversati9n. And when he smiles, it's like he's just smiles f9r me and 9nly me. He even stands up f9r me when meenah 6ad m9uths me

PORRIM: Are yo+u sure yo+u are talking abo+ut the same cro+nus here?

KANKRI: Yes, I am very sure P9rrim. If y9u get t9 kn9w him, he is really a sweet guy.

PORRIM: Pff ho+w can I when all he wants to+ do+ is get to+ kno+w my bo+dy

KANKRI: *he sighs* yes that is a pr96lem f9r y9u isn't it?

PORRIM: Yes kankri it is...i do+ no+t like it but ho+pefully hell start do+ing ito+ yo+u and leave me the hell a lo+ne t

KANKRI: I d9n't kn9w a69ut that. My 69dy isn't really all that great

PORRIM: * she grabs him by the sho+ulders ro+ughly lo+o+king him in the eyes * yo+u are perfect kankri.

KANKRI: *he l99ks away* If y9u say s9 P9rrim

PORRIM: * she hugs him tightly * if he wo+nt lo+ve yo+u I will

KANKRI: *he struggles t9 get 9ut 9f her grip* M9m please...*he 6lushes* Wait! I didn' mean t9 say that!

PORRIM: * she gasps and hugs him tighter * yes yo+u did

KANKRI: *he struggles m9re* n9 n9 n9! I didn't! P9rrim! Let me g9!

PORRIM: * she purrs slightly hugging him mo+re * kankri calm do+wn

KANKRI: *he starts hissing and screeching* N9! N9! N9! N9! N9! N9!

PORRIM: * she sighs and paps his head sho+o+shing him slightly * calm do+wn kankri

KANKRI: *he grum6les and starts t9 purr* ...

PORRIM: * she rubs his ho+rns so+ftly purring back as she sho+o+shes him mo+re *

KANKRI: *he leans his head 9n her as he starts t9 calm d9wn*

PORRIM: * she rubs them even mo+re pulling him clo+ser * shhhsssssshhhh

KANKRI: *he starts struggling again* St9p! At this rate y9u're g9ing t9 make me fall asleep!

PORRIM: Thats the plan I think yo+u need so+me sleep * she rubbs his ho+rn so+ftly sho+o+shing him craddling his head slightly *

KANKRI: N9 I d9n't need any... *he yawns* sleep

PORRIM: * she hums sligtly purring * yes yo+u do+ * she rubs them up and do+wn *

KANKRI: *he yawns again, cl9sing his eyes* n9 I d9n't

PORRIM: *

PORRIM: Ssshhh * she ro+cks slightly humming even mo+re *

KANKRI: * he falls asleep*

PORRIM: * she chuckles and purrs * do+nt need sleep huh liar

KANKRI: *he sn9rts slightly in his sleep*

PORRIM: * she picks him up and carries him to+ her co+uch laying him do+wn and co+vering him up *

KANKRI: *he curls up 9n her c9uch*

PORRIM: * she makes so+me fo+o+d fo+r when he wakes up *

KANKRI: *he makes hissing s9und as he dream*

PORRIM: * she laughs slightly lo+ving ho+w he hisses it was funny *

KANKRI: *he starts mum6ling in his sleep* n9...mituna I d9n't want an9ther descendant...9nes already 6ad en9ugh...cause he's s9 tiny it's sad

PORRIM: * she laughs lo+udly and co+vers her mo+uth * and what yo+u arent

KANKRI: *he smiles a litle in his dream* Cr9nus...

PORRIM: * she gro+wls. Truth is po+rrim really liked kankri but like hell if shed ever tell him that *

KANKRI: *he fr9wns* n9... P9rrim d9n't kill him...c9me 9n m9mmie st9p

PORRIM: * she almo+st cried tears o+f jo+y hearing him say that but realized he was talking abo+ut cro+nus * ill kill him if I want

PORRIM: He do+esndeserve yo+u t

KANKRI: *he fr9wns* 6ut I l9ve him D9l9r9sa

PORRIM: She gets up and walks o+ver to+ him waking him * erm kankri dear yo+u were having a nightmare

KANKRI: *he sl9wly 9pens his eyes* huh? Wha happen'? Wer am I?

PORRIM: At my hive do+ no+t fret I wo+ke yo+u because o+f the nightmare yo+u were having yo+u were screaming and such

KANKRI: *he yawns* Screamin'? Really?

PORRIM: Y-yes * she said lying to+ him *

KANKRI: *he l99ks at his hands* huh? I d9n't remem6er what I was dreaming a69ut. Weird. I usually d9...

PORRIM: Yea it was a really bad nightmare glad I wo+ke yo+u up

KANKRI: Well *he smiles at her* Thank y9u P9rrim

PORRIM: Yo+u mean mo+m

KANKRI: *he 6lushes* shut up!

PORRIM: * she chuckles and hugs him *

KANKRI: *he cr9sses his arms and p9uts*

PORRIM: Awe ho+w cute* she kisses his cheek so+ftly *

KANKRI: *he 6lushes and p9uts even m9re*...

PORRIM: Aww kanny co+me o+n I made yo+u fo+o+d * she grabbed his hand walking to+ the kitchen *

KANKRI: 9h thank y9u P9rrim

PORRIM: Yo+ure welco+me kankri.

KANKRI: *he sits d9wn at the ta6le*

PORRIM: * she gives him the fo+o+d and smiles do+wn at him *

KANKRI: *he smiles 6ack and 6egins t9 eat* w9w this is really g99d

PORRIM: I o+nly make the best fo+r my kankri

KANKRI: *he glances at her* may I ask y9u a questi9n P9rrim?

KANKRI: Why d9 y9u treat me like I'm y9ur s9n?

 **Porrim's connection timed out. Please don't quit straight away; they could be back.**

 **Porrim [PORRIM] joined chat. ~~ 1 ~~**

PORRIM: Because I lo+ve yo+u like my so+n I o+nly want whats best fo+r yo+u

KANKRI: 6ut y9ur n9t even that 9lder than me. H9w can y9u even kn9w what 6est f9r me?

PORRIM: Because I uh...just do+ kankri

KANKRI: Why d9 y9u care a69ut me? Y9u w9uld 6e 6etter 9ff with9ut me, may6e even have m9re quadrants full with9ut me in the way

 **Kankri's connection timed out. Please don't quit straight away; they could be back.**

 **Kankri [KANKRI] joined chat. ~~ 2 ~~**

PORRIM: Uh b-because I uh no+ reaso+n

KANKRI: *he raise an eye6r9w* P9rrim? Are y9u 9kay?

PORRIM: Yes im fine w-why wo+uldnt I be

KANKRI: Y9u are acting extremely strange. Is s9mething the matter?

PORRIM: Er no+ no+thing is wro+ng im fine

KANKRI: P9rrim y9u're lying t9 me. What is it?

PORRIM: No+thing kankri I swear

KANKRI: P9rrim, I am y9ur m9rail, just tell me what is it s9 that I can make y9u feel 6etter

PORRIM: Kankri I cant tell yo+u I co+uldnt do+ that to+ yo+u * she sighed slightly *

KANKRI: C9uldn't d9 what t9 me? *his eyes widen* d9 y9u...n9t want t9 6e m9rials with me anym9re?

PORRIM: No+ its no+t that really I just...i cant tell yo+u

KANKRI: *he l99ks d9wn* If y9u d9n't want t9 6e my m9rail anym9re P9rrim, y9u can just say it t9 my face

PORRIM: * she sighs * fine I do+nt want to+ be yo+ur mo+irail anymo+re

PORRIM: Because I uh want to+ be yo+ur matesprit but yo+u lije cro+nus which im no+t gunna get in the way uh kan

KANKRI: *he 6lushes* wait what!?

PORRIM: Yo+u heard me im no+t saying it again

KANKRI: Y-y9u're f-flushed f9r ME!? Why? Y9u're s9 6eautiful that y9u c9uld have any9ne and y9u want /me/?

PORRIM: Because yo+u are sweet and ado+rable and I just lo+ve yo+u and yo+u deserve the best

KANKRI: 6ut y9u're s9 pretty and amazing that y9u can have any9ne y9u wanted, yet y9u like me? Am I that pitiful?

PORRIM: No+! No+ kankri dear listen I lo+ve yo+u a lo+t please

KANKRI: 6ut why l9ve me?

PORRIM: Because I just do+

KANKRI: W9w this is um interesting inf9rmati9n

* * *

And then the library closed so I had to log off, so if the Porrim RPer is reading this, sorry. And if anyone couldn't tell, I'm a Cronkri shipper so when they said they were flushed, I was all like "oh shit". Anyway, Witch of Blood, out


End file.
